In every coaching situation there’s one main principle that’s the same: Be Positive.
Focusing on what you do wrong just does not work as well as encouragement and focus on what IS working.
WHY you do this comes down to how the brain actually operates. Your prefrontal cortex, the brain’s HARD DRIVE is right behind the forehead, it has circuits that make us happy, engaged, and positive about our best self – it also has other other circuits that drag us down in negative thoughts, low energy, and feeling depressed.
I have good news for you. Your behavior and habits can actually hardwire that positive (+) circuitry. Here is an example of your positive circuitry in action. …. when you think about some goal you have, and how good you will feel when you achieve it.. Your POSITIVE circuitry motivates YOU. It actually helps you sustain momentum toward your goals —-even when you face obstacles and setbacks.
Your negative (-) circuitry does the exact opposite: closes you down, makes you defensive, and what happens? … You get ready to give up. Note: Anyone who gets only negative feedback on performance of any kind, will be far more likely to fail when the next challenge comes.
It’s not that you can’t deliver bad news about someone’s efforts – it’s the way you deliver that news that counts.
Consider research where people were given positive feedback in a cold, distant, and negative tone of voice. Despite the good news, they came away feeling bad. And in the same study, others were given negative feedback in a warm, supportive tone of voice – and left feeling a bit upbeat despite the bad news.
Remember that Emotions are contagious, and how you communicate your message – whether bad news or good – determines the other person’s emotional takeaway, regardless of the obvious message you give them.
The best coaching relationships – – foster a sense of emotional safety, where the other person feels you care about them, support them, and will guide them.
Wishing you Health… Get Up, Get Out and Get MOVING each and every day.
Gerryl Krilic – The FriscoFITCity Ambassador